please take what you need and leave the rest...

ID#12
Title: Step 12
Message:

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to others who still suffer, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.


ID#22
Message:

Came to Believe... ACA Statements for the Fellowship Text
    

1.We believe ... this book (ACA Big Book) represents the most complete description of the ACA experience from our fellowship view. (pg. ix)

2.We believe ... this discussion (on the greater meaning of ACA Recovery) will lead to new levels of clarity for Adult Children. (pg. ix)

3.We believe ... that ACA has the potential to help the suffering Adult Children of the world on the magnitude that Alcoholics Anonymous brought relief to hopeless alcoholics in the 20th century. (xiii)

4.We believe ... that once a recovering Adult Child meets and shares his or her story with another Adult Child seeking help, that adult cannot view co-dependence the same again. (pg. xiv)

5.In addition to focusing on ourselves through the Twelve Steps, we believe ... that the family system is open for inspection as well. (pg. xv)

6. We believe ... that each of us is born with a True Self that is forced into hiding by dysfunctional parenting. (pg. xv)

7.We believe ... it is through the Twelve steps program of ACA that we no longer live life from a basis of fear. We live with self-care and love. (pg. xx iv)

8.In ACA we believe ... the experiences of growing up in a dysfunctional family affect us as adults. (pg. 3)

9.Adult children from all family types not only feel shame deeply, but we believe ... we are shame. (pg. 10)

10.We believe ... that we will be safe and never abandoned if we are nice and if we never show anger. (pg. 11)

11.We believe ... that the long-term effects of fear transferred to us by a non-alcoholic parent can match the damaging effects of alcohol. (pg. 23)

12.We believe ... that hitting, threats, projection, belittlement, and indifference are the delivery mechanisms that deeply insert the disease of family dysfunction within us. (pg. 27)

13.We believe ... that something is wrong with us even though we cannot voice what the thing is. (pg. 30)

14.We ... either believe ... that the way we were raised has a direct link to our compulsions and co-dependence as adults, or we do not believe it. (pg. 33)

15.Yet, if we believe ... there is a connection, we can choose ACA and pick up the tools of recovery. (pg. 33)

16.We believe ... the solution of inclusion rose from the spiritual depths of ACA meetings and group consciences. (pg. 63)

17.We believe ... that the disease of family dysfunction is a spiritual dilemma rather than a moral deficiency to be solved by proper living. (pg. 75)

18.We don't believe ... we have a mental health problem to be cured purely by science. (pg. 75)

19.Many of us believe ... that our actual parent is a Higher Power, who is patient and loving. (pg. 75)

20.Most of us no longer believe ... that God is punishing, abandoning, or indifferent. (pg, 75)

21.We believe ... that family dysfunction is a spiritual disease that best responds to surrender, self-acceptance, and consistent effort by the adult child to make conscious contact with a Higher Power. (pg. 76)

22.We don't believe ... that family dysfunction is a moral deficiency of the parents or that changing our behavior is merely a matter of self-will. (pg. 76)

23.Adult Children of Alcoholics believe ... that recovery from the effects of growing up in a dysfunctional home requires spiritual intervention; however we do not propose to be the authority on what works best for each individual. (pg. 78)

24.We are God's children despite mistakes made. Through such affirmations and Twelve Step work, we come to believe ... in our self-worth. (pg. 93)

25.We wrongly believed ... we solved the problems from our birth family by keeping our own homes in order. We may have even eliminated alcohol or other dysfunction from our home. Our children, who often act out in addiction or aggression, give us a clue to our failing. We unintentionally passed on our family insanity or distorted thinking. (pg. 134)

26.We came to believe that this behavior was normal when it was insane by the standards of decency or true parental love. (pg. 135)

27.We are not aligned with any religious, mystical, or spiritual systems of belief; however, we believe it is imperative that the recovering adult child find a Higher Power to help him or her find healing from growing up in a dysfunctional home. (pg. 141)

28.We do not believe our brains are missing any elements. We start with the premise that we are whole and that we had a normal reaction to an abnormal situation of being raised in a dysfunctional home. (pg. 143)

29.In ACA, we believe we were born whole and became fragmented in body, mind, and spirit through abandonment and shame. We need help finding a way to return to our miracle state. (pg. 143)

30.We believe in a spiritual solution for the disease of family dysfunction. (pg. 143)

31.In addition to a deep sense of shame and abandonment, we believe that most of our emotional and mental distress can be traced to our steadfast nature to control. In ACA, we realize that control was the survival trait which kept us safe or alive in our dysfunctional homes. (pg. 143)

32.We believe our best hope is seeking a spiritual solution in concert with other recovering adult children. (pg. 148)

33.We are an autonomous program founded on the belief ... that family dysfunction is a disease that affected us as children and affects us as adults. (pg. 333)

34.We believe ... that the fear and confused thinking of the co-dependent is one of the mechanisms that pass on alcoholism and other family dysfunction even when alcohol is removed from the home. (pg. 335)

35.ACA believes ... there is a direct link between our childhood and our decisions and thoughts as an adult. (pg. 338)

36.As discussed in Chapter Two, we believe ... that some of our stored feelings become a drug, driving us from the inside to harm ourselves or others. This is the para-alcoholic nature of co-dependence. (pg. 457)

37.With this knowledge of the body, we believe ... that fear and other emotions can act as a drug. (pg. 458)

38.We believe ... when the time is right, that teen leadership will form meetings for abused and neglected young people wanting what ACA has to offer. (pg. 475)

39.In ACA, we believe ... connecting with our feelings and Inner Child are just as important as working the Twelve Steps and Sponsorship. (pg. 558)

Our feelings of self-worth and adequacy start to grow as we successfully reparent ourselves, and we begin to trust our ability to love and serve others. We give service just by being present to support and encourage other members of the program as they make the transition from frightened adult children to whole human beings who are capable of acting with the spontaneity of a child and the wisdom of a mature adult. This central concept underlies and supports all forms of service. (pg. 354)

A healthy relationship involves talking about feelings, mutual respect, and a commitment to trust and honesty. There are many other elements to a successful and intimate relationship, but these are a good start. Not surprisingly, these are the tools and principles included in the ACA program: feelings, respect, trust, and honesty. (pg. 403)

In ACA, we are more alike than different. The common denominator among all adult children involves the sense that we have failed at fixing our families or that we helped cause our family problems. Believing we could have controlled outcomes or restored our family is a common error in thinking among adult children from all dysfunctional family types. Our common solution is a spiritual awakening brought by seeking a God of our Understanding through the Twelve Steps. We must also reparent ourselves and help others to continue our spiritual growth. These are the foundational truths of our fellowship put in place from the beginning. These experiences have sustained us and carried us ... as Adult Children of Alcoholics. (pg. 646)

We believe that learning to make relationships work is at the core of full recovery. Doing so takes skill and skills are learned. (pg. 15, Stage II Recovery Life Beyond Addiction, Earnie Larsen)

retrieved from http://acoa.activeboard.com/forum.spark?aBID=42759 April 14, 2018


ID#43
Title: Step 1 Spiritual Principles
Message: Powerless and Surrender
ID#44
Title: Step 2 Spiritual Principles
Message: Openmindedness and Clarity
ID#45
Title: Step 3 Spiritual Principles
Message: Willingness and Accepting Help
ID#46
Title: Step 4 Spiritual Principles
Message: Self-Honesty and Courage
ID#47
Title: Step 5 Spiritual Principles
Message: Honesty and Trust
ID#48
Title: Step 6 Spiritual Principles
Message: Willingness
ID#49
Title: Step 7 Spiritual Principles
Message: Humility
ID#50
Title: Step 8 Spiritual Principles
Message: Willingness and Self-Forgiveness
ID#51
Title: Step 9 Spiritual Principles
Message: Forgiveness and Courage
ID#52
Title: Step 10 Spiritual Principles
Message: Honesty and Discernment
ID#53
Title: Step 11 Spiritual Principles
Message: Seeking and Listening
ID#54
Title: Step 12 Spiritual Principles
Message: Love and Self-Love
ID#88
Message:

Step Three ACA Affirmations-Meditation Exercise

Affirmations: Let Go, Let God

  1. I am willing to consider some control in my life.
  2. I am willing to call someone when I feel the urge to control another's thoughts or actions.
  3. I believe that real choice comes from the God of my understanding rather than my illusions of control or orderliness.
  4. I desire real choice and discernment.
  5. I surrender my family to God as I understand God.
  6. I surrender my self-hate.

Third Step Prayer

Many ACA members use the Third Step Prayer to formalize their Third Step and to move on to Step Four. Some of us say this prayer with another person. This person can be your sponsor, counselor, spiritual advisor, or close friend. We offer this action for the purpose of learning to ask someone to participate in your new life. Sharing a prayer with another person lets us know we are making a connection to life and others in a meaningful way. Here is the ACA Third Step Prayer.

God. I am willing to surrender my fears and to place my will and my life in your care one day at a time. Grant me the wisdom to know the difference between the things I can and cannot change. Help me to remember that I can ask for help. I am not alone. Amen.

Step Three Spiritual Principles:

Willingness and Accepting Help

from pages 68-69 of the Yellow Workbook (Twelve Steps of Adult Children)


ID#108
Title: STEP FOUR SPIRITUAL PRINCIPLES
Message:

Self-honesty and Courage


ID#145
Message:

A 9th Step Prayer :

"God, with regard to this amend, give me the strength, courage and direction to do the right thing, no matter what the personal consequences may be. Help me not to shrink from anything. Help me not to delay if it can be avoided. Help me to be sensible, tactful, considerate and humble without being servile or scraping."(79:1, 83:3)

A 9th Step prayer for the Spouse:

"God, please show me how to make amends to my Spouse. Father , Help me to keep my Spouse’s happiness Uppermost in my mind as I try, with your Grace, to make this relationship right. Amen" (82:1)

A 9Th Step Prayer for the Family:

"God, please show me how to find the way of Patience, Tolerance, Kindness and Love in my heart, my Mind and my Soul. Lord, show me how to demonstrate these principles to my family and all those about me. Amen." (83:1)

 

from http://friendsofbillw.net/twelve_step_prayers












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