please take what you need and leave the rest...

ID#22
Message:

Came to Believe... ACA Statements for the Fellowship Text
    

1.We believe ... this book (ACA Big Book) represents the most complete description of the ACA experience from our fellowship view. (pg. ix)

2.We believe ... this discussion (on the greater meaning of ACA Recovery) will lead to new levels of clarity for Adult Children. (pg. ix)

3.We believe ... that ACA has the potential to help the suffering Adult Children of the world on the magnitude that Alcoholics Anonymous brought relief to hopeless alcoholics in the 20th century. (xiii)

4.We believe ... that once a recovering Adult Child meets and shares his or her story with another Adult Child seeking help, that adult cannot view co-dependence the same again. (pg. xiv)

5.In addition to focusing on ourselves through the Twelve Steps, we believe ... that the family system is open for inspection as well. (pg. xv)

6. We believe ... that each of us is born with a True Self that is forced into hiding by dysfunctional parenting. (pg. xv)

7.We believe ... it is through the Twelve steps program of ACA that we no longer live life from a basis of fear. We live with self-care and love. (pg. xx iv)

8.In ACA we believe ... the experiences of growing up in a dysfunctional family affect us as adults. (pg. 3)

9.Adult children from all family types not only feel shame deeply, but we believe ... we are shame. (pg. 10)

10.We believe ... that we will be safe and never abandoned if we are nice and if we never show anger. (pg. 11)

11.We believe ... that the long-term effects of fear transferred to us by a non-alcoholic parent can match the damaging effects of alcohol. (pg. 23)

12.We believe ... that hitting, threats, projection, belittlement, and indifference are the delivery mechanisms that deeply insert the disease of family dysfunction within us. (pg. 27)

13.We believe ... that something is wrong with us even though we cannot voice what the thing is. (pg. 30)

14.We ... either believe ... that the way we were raised has a direct link to our compulsions and co-dependence as adults, or we do not believe it. (pg. 33)

15.Yet, if we believe ... there is a connection, we can choose ACA and pick up the tools of recovery. (pg. 33)

16.We believe ... the solution of inclusion rose from the spiritual depths of ACA meetings and group consciences. (pg. 63)

17.We believe ... that the disease of family dysfunction is a spiritual dilemma rather than a moral deficiency to be solved by proper living. (pg. 75)

18.We don't believe ... we have a mental health problem to be cured purely by science. (pg. 75)

19.Many of us believe ... that our actual parent is a Higher Power, who is patient and loving. (pg. 75)

20.Most of us no longer believe ... that God is punishing, abandoning, or indifferent. (pg, 75)

21.We believe ... that family dysfunction is a spiritual disease that best responds to surrender, self-acceptance, and consistent effort by the adult child to make conscious contact with a Higher Power. (pg. 76)

22.We don't believe ... that family dysfunction is a moral deficiency of the parents or that changing our behavior is merely a matter of self-will. (pg. 76)

23.Adult Children of Alcoholics believe ... that recovery from the effects of growing up in a dysfunctional home requires spiritual intervention; however we do not propose to be the authority on what works best for each individual. (pg. 78)

24.We are God's children despite mistakes made. Through such affirmations and Twelve Step work, we come to believe ... in our self-worth. (pg. 93)

25.We wrongly believed ... we solved the problems from our birth family by keeping our own homes in order. We may have even eliminated alcohol or other dysfunction from our home. Our children, who often act out in addiction or aggression, give us a clue to our failing. We unintentionally passed on our family insanity or distorted thinking. (pg. 134)

26.We came to believe that this behavior was normal when it was insane by the standards of decency or true parental love. (pg. 135)

27.We are not aligned with any religious, mystical, or spiritual systems of belief; however, we believe it is imperative that the recovering adult child find a Higher Power to help him or her find healing from growing up in a dysfunctional home. (pg. 141)

28.We do not believe our brains are missing any elements. We start with the premise that we are whole and that we had a normal reaction to an abnormal situation of being raised in a dysfunctional home. (pg. 143)

29.In ACA, we believe we were born whole and became fragmented in body, mind, and spirit through abandonment and shame. We need help finding a way to return to our miracle state. (pg. 143)

30.We believe in a spiritual solution for the disease of family dysfunction. (pg. 143)

31.In addition to a deep sense of shame and abandonment, we believe that most of our emotional and mental distress can be traced to our steadfast nature to control. In ACA, we realize that control was the survival trait which kept us safe or alive in our dysfunctional homes. (pg. 143)

32.We believe our best hope is seeking a spiritual solution in concert with other recovering adult children. (pg. 148)

33.We are an autonomous program founded on the belief ... that family dysfunction is a disease that affected us as children and affects us as adults. (pg. 333)

34.We believe ... that the fear and confused thinking of the co-dependent is one of the mechanisms that pass on alcoholism and other family dysfunction even when alcohol is removed from the home. (pg. 335)

35.ACA believes ... there is a direct link between our childhood and our decisions and thoughts as an adult. (pg. 338)

36.As discussed in Chapter Two, we believe ... that some of our stored feelings become a drug, driving us from the inside to harm ourselves or others. This is the para-alcoholic nature of co-dependence. (pg. 457)

37.With this knowledge of the body, we believe ... that fear and other emotions can act as a drug. (pg. 458)

38.We believe ... when the time is right, that teen leadership will form meetings for abused and neglected young people wanting what ACA has to offer. (pg. 475)

39.In ACA, we believe ... connecting with our feelings and Inner Child are just as important as working the Twelve Steps and Sponsorship. (pg. 558)

Our feelings of self-worth and adequacy start to grow as we successfully reparent ourselves, and we begin to trust our ability to love and serve others. We give service just by being present to support and encourage other members of the program as they make the transition from frightened adult children to whole human beings who are capable of acting with the spontaneity of a child and the wisdom of a mature adult. This central concept underlies and supports all forms of service. (pg. 354)

A healthy relationship involves talking about feelings, mutual respect, and a commitment to trust and honesty. There are many other elements to a successful and intimate relationship, but these are a good start. Not surprisingly, these are the tools and principles included in the ACA program: feelings, respect, trust, and honesty. (pg. 403)

In ACA, we are more alike than different. The common denominator among all adult children involves the sense that we have failed at fixing our families or that we helped cause our family problems. Believing we could have controlled outcomes or restored our family is a common error in thinking among adult children from all dysfunctional family types. Our common solution is a spiritual awakening brought by seeking a God of our Understanding through the Twelve Steps. We must also reparent ourselves and help others to continue our spiritual growth. These are the foundational truths of our fellowship put in place from the beginning. These experiences have sustained us and carried us ... as Adult Children of Alcoholics. (pg. 646)

We believe that learning to make relationships work is at the core of full recovery. Doing so takes skill and skills are learned. (pg. 15, Stage II Recovery Life Beyond Addiction, Earnie Larsen)

retrieved from http://acoa.activeboard.com/forum.spark?aBID=42759 April 14, 2018


ID#23
Message:

New Thought Patterns From the Big Red Book

Listen to your Inner Child not with fear but with openness.

Love this child for all she or he has had to defend against.

Know that feelings are to be listened to; they are cues and signals that indicate where you are and what you need.

Mistakes are a sign of growing; remember, be gentle with yourself.

Success is not relative to others. It is a feeling of love and accomplishment for yourself.

Recovery is accepting yourself for who you are, no longer waiting for others to define you or approve of you.

It is safe to take time to play today. Play fuels your creativity, tickles your Inner Child, and nurtures your soul.

May you respond with the vulnerability of your child, but with the strength of your adult.

Surround yourself with people who respect and treat you well.

In faith one finds the strength to survive times of great fear and sadness.

see page xxiv-xxv Big Red Book


ID#42
Title: The Flip Side of The Other Laundry List
Message:

The Flip Side of The Other Laundry List
1) We face and resolve our fear of people and our dread of isolation and stop intimidating others with our power and position.
2) We realize the sanctuary we have built to protect the frightened and injured child within has become a prison and we become willing to risk moving out of isolation.
3) With our renewed sense of self-worth and self-esteem we realize it is no longer necessary to protect ourselves by intimidating others with contempt, ridicule and anger.
4) We accept and comfort the isolated and hurt inner child we have abandoned and disavowed and thereby end the need to act out our fears of enmeshment and abandonment with other people.
5) Because we are whole and complete we no longer try to control others through manipulation and force and bind them to us with fear in order to avoid feeling isolated and alone.
6) Through our in-depth inventory we discover our true identity as capable, worthwhile people. By asking to have our shortcomings removed we are freed from the burden of inferiority and grandiosity.
7) We support and encourage others in their efforts to be assertive.
8) We uncover, acknowledge and express our childhood fears and withdraw from emotional intoxication.
9) We have compassion for anyone who is trapped in the “drama triangle” and is desperately searching for a way out of insanity.
10) We accept we were traumatized in childhood and lost the ability to feel. Using the 12 Steps as a program of recovery we regain the ability to feel and remember and become whole human beings who are happy, joyous and free.
11) In accepting we were powerless as children to “save” our family we are able to release our self-hate and to stop punishing ourselves and others for not being enough.
12) By accepting and reuniting with the inner child we are no longer threatened by intimacy, by the fear of being engulfed or made invisible.
13) By acknowledging the reality of family dysfunction we no longer have to act as if nothing were wrong or keep denying that we are still unconsciously reacting to childhood harm and injury.
14) We stop denying and do something about our post-traumatic dependency on substances, people, places and things to distort and avoid reality.

 


ID#73
Message:

Chapter Eight Review of Key Terms

  1. Inner Child - The original person, being, or force which we truly are. Some ACA members call this the True Self.
  2. False Self - The addicted or codependent self.
  3. Loving Parent or Reparenting - The inner parent we can develop from the part of us that took action to care for ourselves as children and which can be awakened in recovery.
  4. Critical Parent - The hypercritical and judgmental voice that frequently finds fault in our thoughts and actions. This includes the frequent blaming of ourselves and others.

see page 298 of the Big Red Book


ID#76
Message:

Chapter Eight Exercises

Loving Parent Questions

  1. What is a Loving Parent? What is an Inner Child?
  2. If you can envision a Critical Parent inside, is it possible to envision a Loving Parent, who is there as well waiting to step forward? Are you willing to explore this possibility?
  3. Can you see how you took care of yourself as a child and how you can now use that care to nurture a Loving Parent within?
  4. If you were self-destructive as a child, how would a Loving Parent care for an abused or neglected child? Would you be willing to do these caring things for your Inner Child?
  5. Name a way you can meet your Loving Parent.
  6. What are five traits of a Loving Parent?

see page 327 of the Big Red Book


ID#77
Message:

Chapter Eight Exercises

Inner Child Affirmations

  1. I love my Inner Child unconditionally.
  2. I will protect my Inner Child to the best of my ability.
  3. I will take time to listen to my Inner Child and to follow through on promises.
  4. I will integrate my Inner Child into my life through play, creativity, and spirituality.
  5. I will take time to become my own Loving Parent.

see page 328 of the Big Red Book


ID#78
Message:

Chapter Eight Exercises

Inner Child Questions

  1. How does your Loving Parent communicate regularly with your Inner Child?
  2. How might you establish trust with your Inner Child?
  3. How do you let your Inner Child play regularly?
  4. How do you integrate your Inner Child into your feelings and decisions?
  5. How do you affirm your Inner Child or Inner Children?
  6. How does your Inner Child help you connect you with a Higher Power?
  7. Do you love your Inner Child unconditionally?
  8. How has your Inner Child sabotaged you from gettings things done?

see page 328 of the Big Red Book


ID#79
Title: Affirmations for your Inner Child from Chapter 8
Message:

http://angelicwords.ca/ACA/ACACards/affirmations1.jpg

Higher Power. Help me to be willing to recognize the Loving Parent inside of me. Help me integrate my Inner Child more actively into my daily life so that I remain awake spiritually. Grant me the courage to change the things I can. Grant me the wisdom of my Inner Child.

see page 329-330 of the Big Red Book


ID#124
Message:

Step Ten Guide

from page 158 of 12 Steps of Adult Children Yellow Workbook

Here are a few Step Ten questions we ask ourselves daily or weekly. These questions help us live the ACA program in all areas of our lives. Step Ten keeps us mindful of our program.


ID#149
Message:

Cognitive behavioral therapy for childhood anxiety disorders

From Yale University

My hope is that these techniques could be easily applied to our Inner Child work that we do in Recovery.

Higher Power Blessings!


ID#150
Message:

CBT for Social Anxiety Disorder: Using downward arrow and thought challenging techniques

From Judith Johnson

My hope is that these techniques could be easily applied to our Inner Child work that we do in Recovery.

Higher Power Blessings!


ID#151
Message:

CBT Alternative Anxiety Meditation | Music | Guided | Relief | Depression | Deep Relaxation Hypnosis

From Attuned to Love

My hope is that these techniques could be easily applied to our Inner Child work that we do in Recovery.

Higher Power Blessings!












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May your dear spirit be forever blessed.